What Impact Does the Partner without ADHD Experience?
While frequently required to maintain the family, such attempts by the non-ADHD partner to “fix” things can make the ADHD partner feel insecure and despondent. This presents new difficulties, sometimes to the point where they threaten to break up the partnership.
Instead of being a healthy adult partnership, the dynamic between an ADHD partner and a partner who does not have ADHD can resemble a parent-child connection. Both partners and the relationship are greatly strained as a result. Because of this, non-ADHD spouses frequently characterize ADHD partners as needy and attention-seeking.
If your spouse or partner has ADHD, you could frequently feel:
- Angry
- Exhausted
- Frustrated
- Ignored
- Offended
- Stressed
- Undesired or unloved
It can have a long-lasting effect on the non-ADHD partner’s mental health to continue a long-term relationship with someone who is undiagnosed or untreated for ADHD.
Due to the partner’s difficulties getting things done, the non-ADHD partner’s propensity to “overhelp” might lead to unhealthy dependencies or make them worse while also removing opportunities for the ADHD partner to develop life management skills.
The non-ADHD partner may also experience anxiety [3] as a result of such conduct since they feel overburdened by having to handle so many of the household chores.
Resentment is a significant problem that affects many couples with ADHD and non-ADHD. The tendency of the non-ADHD partner to overhelp and the ADHD partner’s acquired helplessness can both contribute to the development of this relationship-straining mood.
An ADHD partner may develop an unhealthy dependence on the non-ADHD partner if they become accustomed to having the other partner handle the majority of tasks for them and their family. If neither party works to solve the issues they’re producing in the relationship dynamic, this codependency is a recipe for frustration and could lead to the breakup of a partnership.